id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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