David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
