is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
