Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
