Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
