kristin has been a bad kristin
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
