And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
