I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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