I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
