so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
