Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize