I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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