This girl is more easily done than said...
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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