I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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