I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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