Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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