I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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