would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
