So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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