My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
