IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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