The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
