No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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