why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
