i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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