I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she peed on how many people?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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