I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
