I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
