So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
