I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The struggles of a small town man whore
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
