Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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