I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize