are you still at the devil's house?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
