I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Randomize