the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
