I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
