Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
