You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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