Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I wear drunk well.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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