I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
