Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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