If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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