just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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