she was so not down for the gang bang
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
