whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
