i just google imaged poop.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
