I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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