I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
