Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
