Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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