you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
