Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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