That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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