She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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