he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
