Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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