Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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