He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
