don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My bed smells like the plague
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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