No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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