We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
