he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
