Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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