I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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