My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
