'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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