The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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