She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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