I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
