you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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