i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
