and she was petting her beer can
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He felt like a one man threesome
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
