Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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