I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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