I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
