his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
