My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
