youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
