I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
